Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Last night in the silence that has become my marriage...I just sat there and stared at him. I don't really know why but I couldn't stop. I guess I was looking for answers. Trying to figure out where we went wrong and what brought us to this hostile, quiet place we're in. He was watching a movie and didn't notice me staring at him for the longest time. Finally he looked over at me and said, "Is something wrong?" I just told him I was fine and half heartedly watched the movie with him. I couldn't get my mind off of it though. It blows my mind...I thought I knew him so well. He thought he knew me. Now we're like strangers and it's just a strange and uncomfortable feeling. He's still my husband. He's still the father of my child. For awhile, I couldn't remember the good times. Now that my anger has diminished I can remember them. I'm ready to let go of him. I'm ready to make my life mine and I'm ready to forgive him.