Update

Katelyn - She is doing wonderfully in preschool. She can write her first name with no problem. She's starting to read and it's wonderful!!! I am so proud of her. She's only four and she just seems so much older at times. She's got a smart mouth on her...we're working on that. I have little to no patience for anyone else's bratty smart mouth kids so it's strange to experience this with my own child. I have no patience for it. But I haven't found a good solution to it either. Anyway - she's doing well. Smart and bossy as ever :)

Cole - Gosh he is growing like a weed. I can't beleive it. He's so damn smart. When we get done with dinner Katelyn and Allen know it's time for a bath. They go back in the laundry room, take off their dirty clothes and put them in the basket. Now after I undress Cole he stands up and literally runs back to the laundry room with his clothes. It's hilarious! He uses so many words now, it's amazing. I guess I shouldn't be shocked, Katelyn started talking really early too....but it still scares the crap out of me. He's such a loveable boy :)

Allen - We've had a rough few weeks. I don't really want to talk about the negatives....I know it seems that I do that a lot. There's just so much that this poor kid is dealing with. I try to "unload" my mind here but the response from a lot of people is really just not what I want/need to hear. Since this is OPEN diary I'm just going to keep the negatives to myself and not put it out there for people to judge. I will say that I'm so glad we discovered that painting helps him. It's amazing to watch him paint. He made a picture for me that is a bunch of pumpkins...and they are just...wow. I can't explain it. But he is extremely artistic. I'm just so glad we've found something that he loves...it actually seems to help when he's angry. It's awesome ; )

Luke - I don't think Luke is a bad guy. I've come to realize that 99% of the way he is stems directly from his upbringing. It's sad. I wish I had it in me to stick by him and wait to see if he could change. But I just can't. I'm not strong enough and I'm not willing to risk my sanity to wait around. We said "til death do us part"...but I think in this instance...I can't do it. I really do love him deep down....but I need stability. My kids need that. he can't give us that right now.

Me - I'm actually ok considering all that's going on. I've been trying to eat at least one meal a day. For awhile I wasn't eating much at all. I'm really focusing on getting myself mentally "healed" so to speak. I'm really trying to find out who I am...I don't know if it's possible. But I want to try.

Halloween Plans - We don't have the kid's costumes yet because Katelyn & Allen can't decide want they want to be. That's something I need to get accomplished this weekend. We're going to trick or treat in St. Clair. I live right in the middle of town - perfect place to trick or treat. It's funny...last year I was able to get rid of the candy without the kids noticing. This year Katelyn is going to be tricky to hide it from. I know it seems mean - but my kids don't eat candy except on very rare occasions. They'll get to keep a couple of pieces and the rest goes in the trash. They don't need to be eating that shit. It's pure sugar. No thank you.

Finances - I'm still behind but I'm DAMN close to catching up. I get paid on the 15th and I'll be caught up after that. I am SO glad. I hate being broke. It really sucks. I'm not totally broke but I definitely am scraping by.

Tampa - It's almost here!!! I am SO excited. Kris - we're hanging out at the hotel bar on Friday night if you want to come join us!!! I need to fill you in on where I'm staying so leave me your email address in a note.

Robert - I swear....that guy is like another one of my kids. He's doing ok. He can walk now. His ankles are healing well and he walks with crutches. He was in a wheelchair. He's going to see a dentist next week to see about getting implants since he lost his teeth. Also, he's suing GM because his air bag sensor went off but the air bags stayed intact. His face would be much better off if the airbags would've came out. Turns out, he wasn't drunk. His blood alcohol content was really low so they are pretty sure he just fell asleep. Scary. But I'm glad he's ok. Love that kid. I've been spending a lot of time at his apartment. me and the kids go over there and clean up his living room/kitchen and help him do his laundry. He'd do the same for me if I was injured.

I guess that's really all for now. My internet may get hooked back up today or tomorrow so you may hear from me this weekend. not sure.